Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
