drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize