WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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