Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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