She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
