OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
