Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
