clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
