I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
