HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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