I looked at my own cervix.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
