Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize