If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Randomize
