It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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