She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
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I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
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Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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