Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
