K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
