It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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