Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
