i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize