i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize