Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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