she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
