I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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