Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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