ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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