What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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