and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
