apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
