i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
