remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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