Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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