I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you mean i was at the winter classic?
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One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
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