guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
