It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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