please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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