he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
