Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
