the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
