Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Randomize