5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
