We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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