ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
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Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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