Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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