She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
