The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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