smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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