he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
