It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
