I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
