I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
