Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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