i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
