"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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