WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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