Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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