he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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