it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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