The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
