a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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