She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
